tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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