I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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