She's JV to your varsity
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
