Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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