dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
