Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
