he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
