Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
