I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize