He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Randomize
