dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
