do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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