You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
