I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
