im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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