you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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