I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Be still, my beating vagina.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize