meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
