Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
