Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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