so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Randomize