why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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