I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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