I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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