Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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