youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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