they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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