i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize