On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
