Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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