I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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