So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
