4 words: hood of his car
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
