Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
