Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
