DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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