White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
