I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
