I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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