So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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