i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
