Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize