dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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