i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
