I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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