all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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