shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i will never coherently bang her
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
