What a fucking waste of an outfit
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
