fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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