i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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