I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
