where am i from again
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Randomize
