yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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