My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
