just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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