North Korea, Best Korea!
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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