Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Holy shit dude........stairs
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
