glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
