i just wanna soil my oats bro
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
