it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
