this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
