Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
